you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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