Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
