We named our party play list daddy issues
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
