i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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