I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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