one two three fourrrrnication!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
