Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
