I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
