Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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