I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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