halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
