oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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