well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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