I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize