I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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