What a fucking waste of an outfit
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
