i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
