So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
