And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
