i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sober January is a disaster.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You ate ashes out of my bong
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize