found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
