Sry I called you an 8
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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