If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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