so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
