oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I know her cup size but not her name....
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