New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think I am morally bankrupt
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
