now i know why i became what i already was.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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