Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
