She's JV to your varsity
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
