I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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