I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
