sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
