Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
someone owes me an orgasm
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
