bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
