question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
