im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
