Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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