feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
