perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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