fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize