I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
