Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize