So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize