sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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