: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
