I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
