Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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