Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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