Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
