Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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