I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
