Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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