you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
