In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
