We're facebook friends in real life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
