That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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