When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize