You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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