we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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