I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize