I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
