I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
