I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
