Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
