Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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