It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
