I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
