Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
