your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
