Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
