did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
