some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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