His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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