If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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