I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
