This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
