Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
