sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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