oh god the rape fog is back!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
