Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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