my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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