I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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