big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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