mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
