i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
