my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
