We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
