How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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