no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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