he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
